It's official reality has become a commodity

"I'm Mike Jones, bitch"

All's well that ends well. Well at least not for the priest in this church.

I can never leave New York.

No, that's not a good thing. I mean, every time I go to New York I have no trouble getting into the city. But every time I try to leave I get lost and end up either

1) back in the city.
2) in the bronx.
or
3) in New Jersey.

I spent the weekend with friends in NYC, and I had a lot of fun. We did the whole bit, went to upscale bars, upscale strip clubs, and generally thought how much cooler it would have been if we had the money to actually splurge on all this stuff.

I swear to God, I will make enough money one day to buy the whole island of Manhattan, and build a freaking bridge from Manhattan to Boston so I don't get so freaking lost every time I go there.

This is payback, don't even ask...

Hiro is my Hero

New/Social Media Press Release

So for the last few weeks I've been reading up on something that has been called a New or Social Media Press Release (nmpr) for short.

So here's the scoop as I understand it: Press Releases suck. They don't work for bloggers and other new media aficionados who want interactive, media rich content.

Solution: Let's not re-invent the wheel, but let's make it out of rubber instead of wood so that it grips better, has more traction, and lasts longer.

No offense to the Amish, but you don't want to take a buggy on the highway.

So here's the question: What kind of car do you get?

Examples:

- Ferrari: The nmpr is bright and shiny, slick and gets you from point A to point B with all the bells and whistles (Ajax, tabs, commenting). Hot chicks love this nmpr.
- Volvo: Take the nmpr into the safest route, make it bulky and full of information, so no matter what quote the person reading finds a crashing need, there's an airbag in a video ready to comment. This nmpr should also have a long lasting and enduring presence, maybe a boxy layout, too. This is the nmpr your parents buy.
- Ford: This nmpr that is generic, assembly line, plug-and-chuck. Change the skin, shoot it off for a new client. This nmpr is "made in America."

What I would shoot for:
- Toyota: Good design, reliable and affordable nmpr. Has the long lasting appeal of a Volvo and some of the bells and whistles of the Ferrari, but they don't all come standard, "mix and match". It also needs to be done in a way that creating more of these nmpr's is easy and intuitive, "some parts made in America."

So here's an idea: what about an organic nmpr? Let people who know about the topic and industry build it for you, let them find those videos that tell the story, the photos that are important, the quotes that they need and let them Wiki it.

Long lasting, always changing, mix and match, but easy and intuitive for the users.

Hand Wars and Getting Laid (No Self-Love Involved)

I haven't been this excited about Star Wars since I was a kid.



This page is hilarious: How to use Google to get a girl and get laid

It's got some pretty funny and useful information, I didn't even know about their Google Base beta!

Visa and a fan with a plan

So for the last few weeks, Visa did a soft launch on a new community site called Fanwithaplan.com. They are trying something new, something that many other "community" sites might benefit from.

Instead of churning out a cookie cutter site that has the usual web 2.0 style but none of the ideas behind it, they are trying to grow this one organically. They plan to outreach to the sports travelers community in order to help the site grow and to hit those points that are of actual interest to them.

I won't bullshit about it, I worked on this site, but I really think they are headed on the right direction here: more feedback in the front less shitty site in the back.

If anyone actually reads these and has any thoughts on the site, whether you are a sport or travel enthusiast or not, drop me a line and let me know what you think!

2000 Bloggers strong

Tino at the Blogger Links Benefactor came up with a great idea, just a photogallery of the first 2000 bloggers who comment of his story, but hey, it's a great idea to find new content. Here's the list as it stands now.

I just commented, let's see how long it takes for me to get added!

UPDATE Jan 23, 10:18AM: Woooo, I made it onto the list! Good shit.

I now have a reason to fly AirTran

Every time I get into an airplane, my worst fear isn't crash landing, or dying on take-off or even bad food or small seats. It's any of that happening next to a little kid screaming his head off.

True, I could die, but I would like to do it with peace and with the comfort of my iPod music sending me to the sweet afterlife, not with my eardrums bouncing off the walls like the passengers who weren't wearing seatbelts.

For whatever reason, when they got on the plane, Elly started to cry and wouldn’t stop. Nor would she sit down — she plopped herself down on the floor in front of her seat and proceeded to throw a temper tantrum.

I know, I know, parent's have to fly too, and they can't leave their children behind. But maybe everyone else on the plane doesn't need to be inconvenienced because of it. So here's to you AirTran, for making the skies a less screaming-children friendly place.

All Female U.N. Peacekeeping Force to Deploy to Liberia

Saw that link of Fark.com today.

I think it's great that we've come a long way towards women's rights to screw up in wars as much as men do.

Thoughts from Brazil...

When I was a kid growing up in Brazil, we used to listen to American music on the radio, sometimes I'd imagine that they were cussing me out, but I never knew what they were really saying.



I'm so glad I learned how to speak English later.



Props to these guys, their videos are hilarious.

I have a Bank of America card, they've always done a good job. Last time I lost my card, they sent me 4 in return! How nice of them. I still haven't gotten my PIN number in the mail, but it makes me happy to be able to help them out and put their newest commercial out there:

If asian people wrote country songs

Ken, your ramen stole my heart, but your floor stole my wallet
Gen. Gao, I love your chicken, but it leaves me wonton
Shower up baby, I only eat my sushi fresh
I left my baby in Fu Man Shu
My fortune says your cookies
No, I'm not Korean you ****
Teach her with tough love and tofu
She ate my heart like she eats everything, with a side of rice
Bungeo-ppang/Gukwa-Ppang/Gyeran-ppang, say that three times fast

And many more

Jack Black at his best.

Pantless

_And you party, laying bears._

I wish I could party, laying bears.

Rant

For the last 2 days I have been without a cell phone. It died just as I was ready to turn it off at the movies and I haven't been home to charge it.

Now I'm left with a difficult dilemma. I don't know if I got any text messages or voice mails, but in truth, I find myself not troubled by this. People can still get in touch with me, via my email, probably not, but this blog, by driving over to my house and shouting at my window, through AIM, any number of ways, as long as they are determined enough.

I look at this piece of dead plastic that I keep in my pocket and it seems really useful at times, but it's just dead weight right now.

I guess having a phone is like having an open door at your office. Anyone can come and bother you at any time. Sure you can tell then to go away, but they will most likely know that you are just don't want to deal with them.

Email gives you a bit more privacy, unless you are on Gmail. Supposedly you can check your email at your own leisure, and even if people send you things, they have no idea when you will get around to reading it, if ever. Gmail, however, has a tendency to show people when you are online and checking it, thereby destroying the beauty of privacy.

Bleh, I should just go home and charge it.

Meanwhile!

Penguins rule

And

The most hilarious laugh a can have person

iPhone iPhone iPhone

stop reading just go

Apple up: +4.75
RIMM down: -10.16

What do NYC , Iran and Texas Have in Common? They smell bad

There's a weird smell in NYC, Israel is ready to bomb Iran, 60 dead birds in Texas, crazy winter temperatures.

The world might not be coming to an end, but I sure feel like people are trying to help it along. Can't we all just... get along? My guess is the answer is no.

So on to the fun stuff:

This Ad is hilarious
Anime Simpsons? Just might be

Now, someone sent this to me, and I'm a guy but I thought this was pretty funny, and a bit to think about too:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right person to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

I have someone really special coming to visit me this weekend. I'm ecstatic, excited, and all manners of happy. Like a penguin with a coconut.

Mind reading at it's best

Sometimes this is what I think most people see in their heads:

Ideas for a new year

A plugin for Microsoft Outlook that will send messages about your meetings to your AIM

A travel company that caters to young professionals who want to travel to exotic locations and go crazy, cheaply. Like Frommer's Guides, but you know, fun.

A Joke: Choosing a profession

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whisky.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up."

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. He tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink.

"Lord have mercy," the old man whispered, "he's gonna be a Congressman!"